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Halloween Jokes

Saturday, May 10th 2025. | Halloween

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Spooky Jokes to Tickle Your Funny Bone This Halloween

Halloween, the spookiest night of the year, is also the perfect time to share a laugh and enjoy some lighthearted fun. From ghosts and ghouls to pumpkins and witches, the possibilities for Halloween jokes are endless. Get ready to unleash your inner comedian with this collection of spooky jokes perfect for parties, trick-or-treating, or just a chilling night in.

Classic Halloween Humor

These jokes are timeless favorites that are sure to get a chuckle out of anyone, regardless of age.

Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
What do you call a witch’s garage? A broom closet!
Why did the zombie cross the road? To get to the body shop!
What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert? I scream!
What do you get if you drop a pumpkin? Squash!
Why are ghosts bad liars? You can see right through them!

Pumpkin Puns and Gourd-geous Gags

Pumpkins are a quintessential symbol of Halloween, and they offer a fertile ground for pun-tastic humor.

What do you call a pumpkin that can bench press? A pumped-kin!
What did the pumpkin say to the pie maker? “Slice to meet you!”
Why was the jack-o’-lantern so intelligent? Because it had brains on the inside!
What do you call a lazy kangaroo? Pouch potato.
How do you fix a broken pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch!

Witchy Wisdom and Bewitching Banter

Witches, with their cauldrons and broomsticks, are a staple of Halloween lore and provide plenty of comedic material.

What do you call two witches living together? Broommates!
What’s a witch’s favorite subject in school? Spelling!
Why did the witch get a ticket? She was speeding on her broomstick!
What kind of makeup do witches wear? Mas-scare-a!
Why do witches fly on brooms? Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy!

Ghostly Giggles and Spooky Silliness

Ghosts, with their ethereal nature and haunting habits, are a natural source of Halloween humor.

Where do ghosts go on vacation? Mali-boo!
What do you call a ghost with a broken leg? A hoblin’ goblin!
Why did the ghost go to the library? To check out some boo-ks!
What’s a ghost’s favorite game? Hide-and-ghost!
What do ghosts like to drink? Ghoul-Aid!

Monster Mash-Up Jokes

Combining different monster types can lead to some truly hilarious results.

What do you get if you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite!
What do you get if you cross a vampire and a teacher? Lots of blood tests!
What do you get if you drop a vampire? A stake out!
What does a vampire never order in a restaurant? A stake!

Knock, Knock Jokes for Halloween

Knock-knock jokes are always a crowd-pleaser, especially when given a Halloween twist.

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ghoul. Ghoul who? Ghoul be mine if you give me some candy!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Frank. Frank who? Frank you for the candy!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Wanda. Wanda who? Wanda come out and trick-or-treat with me?

Short and Sweet Spooky One-Liners

Sometimes, a short and punchy joke is all you need to get a laugh.

I’m afraid of calendars. Their days are numbered.
I’m dressing up as a ceiling fan for Halloween. Prepare to be blown away.
This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in.
I tried to make a ghost costume, but I didn’t have the spirit.
Don’t be a scaredy cat; Halloween is all in good fun.

These jokes are just a starting point. Feel free to adapt them, create your own, and most importantly, have fun sharing them with friends and family this Halloween! Remember, a good laugh is the best treat of all. Happy Halloween!