How To Deal With A Gambler Husband
How To Deal With A Gambler Husband – You’ve known for a while now that something is wrong, but you just can’t muster up the courage to confront your spouse about the matter. All you know is that he or she has been distant lately, and that, along with a few other signs, means there is a problem that needs to be fixed. Of course, it could be anything. And you probably want to deny what you feel, that strong suspicion that your spouse may just have a gambling problem. How do you know for sure if it is gambling? Here’s how to deal with the problem and confirm your suspicions.
Before we get into the signs that experts say indicate an existing or growing gambling problem, it’s important to approach the situation with some objectivity. This will undoubtedly be quite difficult to do. You are caught up in what is happening, as you and your wife live together. It would be realistic to think that you will not be affected by the types of behavior and negative consequences that come from problem gambling. Still, you must maintain impartiality if you are going to be able to look at the situation and recognize the common signs. Otherwise, you fall into the trap of denial and dismiss those that are obvious red flags to others. Anyway, even though it’s hard to do, you really have to sit back and try to stay objective.
How To Deal With A Gambler Husband
In order to look at what may be going on with your spouse regarding problem gambling, it is necessary to define what problem gambling is. Problem gambling, compulsive or pathological gambling, are terms used to describe a behavioral disorder that tends to get progressively worse over time – unless it is treated. There are specific diagnostic criteria for assessing problem gambling as described in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV), which is published by the American Psychiatric Association. For the purpose of this article we will concentrate on the terms problem gambler and problem gambler. There are terms intended to describe an individual whose gambling causes emotional, financial, psychological, marital, legal or other problems for themselves and those they live with and care for. It is important to make this distinction here because most experts generally consider problem gambling to be somewhat less serious than compulsive or pathological gambling. But this does not mean that problem gambling is not a cause for concern. Problem gambling can lead to compulsive and then pathological gambling. And since problem gambling does not exist in a vacuum, other addictive behaviors are commonly seen in problem gamblers. This can be a contributing factor or result from gambling behavior and includes problems with drug abuse, alcohol and/or sex addiction.
Songs About Gambling
You may not have heard the terms action gambler and escape gambler before, but these are the two broad types of problem gamblers. Action gamers are typically male. They may have started playing when they were teenagers. Games of skill are their preferred form of gambling, so they gravitate towards sports betting, poker, craps, dog racing and horse racing. What drives them is the belief that they are smarter than the system, and that they can consistently beat the odds and win. Escape gamblers, on the other hand, usually turn to gambling a little later in life. As the name suggests, these gamblers engage in addiction as a way to escape from their problems. Loneliness, depression, bad marriage, too much stress are some of the problems they try to escape. Escape gamers are typically women, but men can also become escape gamers. In any case, escape gamblers prefer a form of gambling that induces a hypnotic state of mind. These games include lottery, bingo, video poker and slots. Right away, you can have an idea whether or not your spouse falls into one of these problem gambling categories. If your spouse always bets on football, goes to the track regularly and has done so for most of his life, you are already in the right ballpark to suspect that there may be a problem with gambling . There is research that suggests that people who grew up in families where gambling was common tend to be more likely to gamble themselves. If the gambler in the family considered gambling as a way to solve problems, financial or otherwise, this attitude can be passed on to the children. In addition, people with a history of depression, hyperactivity, and mood swings may be more likely to gamble. Although much more research needs to be done in another area, children raised in families where the father is absent, whose parents are those who work at work, abusive, or where money is used to show or love or anger, have a greater chance of developing into problem gamblers.
Problem gambling progresses in stages. Some addiction experts divide it into three, four, five or more stages. We will simplify it in three steps. First there is the victory phase. This is the period during which an individual discovers gambling, finds it exciting, intoxicating, a social activity and very entertaining, and begins to see it as an escape from worry, stress, family or loneliness. The player can experience some victories and start giving gifts to loved ones. He or she is still in control of the gambling at this point, which means that there is still money and the gambler is not using extraordinary means to finance the gambling. Life is good for those who play in the winning phase. This will be the last time it will exist. The defeat phase comes next. How quickly winning turns to losing varies – it can be extremely fast. If he no longer experiences consistent wins, the gambler becomes more obsessed with gambling. They feel the need to bet bigger, to bet more often. Money becomes a problem. All this begins to have an emotional effect on the player. Then, as he continues to lose, the gambler begins to “chase” the losses by making bigger and more frequent bets, even as he feels more and more guilty and ashamed about his actions. It is during the loss stage that credit cards are maxed out, insurance policies paid off, goods sold or personal property sold, savings stolen and retirement funds depleted. Heavy loans are becoming common. The gambler begins to lose work and lie to his or her family about gambling. A series of false stories and lame excuses are offered to family and friends when the gambler is caught and needs cash. What they are looking for is a lifeline in the futile attempt to recover their losses. The family starts to suspect – this is where it comes in – that something is really wrong. Creditors may start harassing the family and demanding payment for late bills. Your mortgage may be in arrears or one of the family cars may be repossessed. Utility companies may even shut off services due to non-payment of bills. Addiction experts say it is during the losing stage that many problem gamblers start calling gambling hotlines. If they realize that their problem has reached a critical stage, they may be able to get help. Unfortunately, many more do not stop gambling and advance to the next stage. The final stage of problem gambling is called the desperation phase. As the debt mounts, his or her health shows signs that the stress is eating away. Insomnia is common. Relationships deteriorate with spouses, lovers, close friends and co-workers. The financial problems are reaching critical proportions. Eviction, foreclosure and bankruptcy can happen. The problem player has reached the end of the line. Feeling hopeless, powerless, depressed, full of guilt, shame and remorse, the problem gambler in the stage of desperation can turn to escapist gambling for the pure hypnotic effect – something to escape from the unbearable reality that it became his life. Some problem gamblers abandon their family at this point, choosing to run away rather than face what they did. Others attempt suicide. Still others make the decision to finally get help. What if the problem gambler continues at this desperate stage? Here is where the fourth stage comes in. This is known as the hopeless stage. Depression is common and suicide is often the only option the problem gambler sees at this point. But let’s not think about the stage of desperation now. At this point, let’s look at some specific signs to confirm your suspicions and know for sure if your spouse has a gambling problem.
Since you live with your spouse or partner who you believe is a gambler, pay attention to these warning signs.
Putting all the warning signs together, have you confirmed your suspicions that your spouse has a gambling problem? If the answer is yes, you have enough evidence to confront your spouse and demand that he or she get help for the problem. But is it a good move on your part at this point? What should you do, and in what order? like-
One Woman Shares Her Harrowing Story Of Husband’s Gambling Addiction |
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