How To Keep Your Relationship Together

Wednesday, January 4th 2023. | Weddings

How To Keep Your Relationship Together – Although love is the foundation of a romantic relationship, love is not enough. For a relationship to exist, both parties must be willing to work for it. Below you will find 18 ways to improve your relationship.

1. Practice acceptance and respect. In his book, “How to Be an Adult in a Relationship: Five Keys to Love,” David Richo explains that two of the keys to realizing love are acceptance and interest. Here is a quote from Richo that expresses this idea: “In the relationship between you and me, we are mentally present, not intrusively, the way we live with things natural. We do not tell a birch tree that it should look like a moth. We are meeting it without process, but with respect. .”

How To Keep Your Relationship Together

How To Keep Your Relationship Together

2. Realize that every relationship has pros and cons. Just like you can’t expect to be happy all the time, you shouldn’t expect your relationship to be at its best. When you are patient with someone you have to be willing to ride the highs, as well as the lows, together.

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3. Use the word “we”. Tamar Chansky, Ph.D., explains that researcher Robert Levenson and his colleagues at the University of California, Berkeley, found that couples who use the word “we” when talking are happier, calmer, and often enjoy their relationship. than couples who communicate more with the words “you”, “me” and “mine”.

Dr. Chansky explains that the word “we” is a game changer. It sets up the connection in the brain so that we are in a cooperative mindset instead of a “you vs me” mindset. This collaboration makes us love and be kind.

4. Follow the plan until Thanksgiving. Rita Watson – Associate Fellow at Yale’s Ezra Stiles College – explains that an attitude of gratitude will improve your love life. Watson points out that a study involving 77 same-sex and same-sex couples found that gratitude “participants reported more love.” It continues as follows:

“They are also reported to be peaceful, fun and content. They rate their partner as more understanding, practical, caring and generally responsible. They will often express gratitude to their partner for something they appreciate every day. And they were happier with their relationship overall. “

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To start instilling more gratitude into your relationship she recommends the following three days of gratitude:

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5. Keep the ratio 3:1. Every day we have many good and bad experiences. This is also true when it comes to our relationships with our significant others. Most people think that everything is fine if the positive experience outweighs the negative. However, that is not the case. It is the ratio of good to bad that is important.

How To Keep Your Relationship Together

Research has shown that the magic ratio for relationships is at or above 3:1. That is, you need to have three times as many negative experiences with your partner to have get along well.

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6. Keep the stories up to date. One of the advantages of being in a relationship with someone for a long time is that you really get to know each other. The downside to this is that the novelty wears off, and people like novelty.

However, there is a way to make life new: always try new things together. This brings the excitement and uncertainty that comes from the unknown, even if you are with someone you know like the back of your hand.

7. Make it fun. We all love to play, regardless of our age. Do this: have fun together; do bad things together; and let go. Also, the next time your partner says something that upsets you, try to respond with a joke instead of getting defensive.

8. Give space to your partner. The philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer used porcupines to illustrate a problem that often occurs in human relationships. Two porcupines trying to keep warm will move closer to each other. However, if they are too close, they collide with their spines.

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The same thing happens in human relationships: we need intimacy, but we also need space. The important thing is to find the sweet spot where we feel the warmth that comes from the relationship, while allowing each partner enough space to not feel that they are chosen by the feelings of others (such as loss of self, feeling crowded, etc.).

9. Give each other love every day. Kory Floyd, Ph.D.–a professor at Arizona State University’s Hugh Downs School of Communication–explains that research shows that physical affection has many benefits. It releases feel-good hormones, lowers blood pressure, helps reduce stress, improves mood, and is associated with higher social interactions.

Physical affection can be as simple as kissing, holding hands, hugging, giving back, or putting an arm around the other person’s shoulder.

How To Keep Your Relationship Together

10. Use AAA. Mira Kirshenbaum, psychologist and author of “The Weekend Marriage” explains that when your significant other is upset about something you did, you should use the AAA method. This represents forgiveness, love, and a commitment to action. To explain:

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11. Focus on the positive. Dr. Terri Orbuch has been conducting long-term research since 1986 on what makes parents happy and foster relationships. He advises parents to make good decisions. He explains that happy couples focus on the positives in their relationship, rather than focusing on the negatives.

Also, if you want to focus on the negative, try to do it in a positive way. For example, if your partner is upset try saying something like: “It makes me so happy to come home to a clean house. When things are stressful I feel stressed. Let’s find a solution together. “

12. Create a few rituals. Sarì Harrar and Rita DeMaria are the authors of the book “7 Stages of Marriage”. They recommend strengthening your relationship by creating rituals for both of you. For example, every Saturday night can be a night. Another example is you drink coffee together every morning, or spend ten minutes talking every night before going to bed.

13. Treat yourself. He is a researcher, writer and Ph.D. is Dr. John Gottman. the psychologist is aware of his social work. He is known for his book, “Seven Principles of Making Marriage Work”. Dr. explains Gottman that couples who avoid all the important thoughts that pop into their heads when talking about important topics are the happiest.

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15. Allow yourself to be vulnerable. Brené Brown, author of “Daring Greatly: How the Body Grows to Be Harmful to the Ways We Live, Love, Parent and Teach”, explains that vulnerability is essential to relationships. good at thinking. He also says that vulnerability is about being honest about how we feel, our fears, what we want, and what we want to ask for. It allows us to see ourselves clearly from our partner, warts and all.

16. Say “I love you” with your actions. Do small acts of kindness for your partner that let them know you love them. Some ideas include the following:

17. Fair competition. It’s not conflicts that destroy relationships, but how you deal with them. Dr. said Phil—of Oprah fame—the following about fair competition:

How To Keep Your Relationship Together

“Conflict will happen. The question is, do you go into it with a mind to find solutions or do you go into it with a mind of balance, revenge, control? You won’t win if you do that. If you make your relationship competitive, that means your spouse must lose for you to win. It’s not a competition; it’s a partnership. “

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18. Set marriage goals. Be a team of two people trying to achieve goals that you have set together and that are important to both of you. By setting goals together you will achieve all of the following:

Studies have shown that one of the most important factors in happiness is striving to achieve goals that you find meaningful. After all, having a goal that you want to achieve together is one of the things of a relationship.

Relationships don’t just happen. In order to have a good relationship with your significant other you have to work. Use the 18 tips above to boost your relationship instantly. After all, a healthy relationship is an important part of living a healthy life. Reviewed by Julianne Cantarella, MSW, LSW, Certified Relationship Coach Reviewed by Julianne Cantarella, MSW, LSW, Certified Relationship Coach Julianne is a Certified Relationship Coach and Licensed Social Worker. He has 15 years of experience in the Matchmaking industry. Julianne’s Expertise as a Relative

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