Anyone Else Haunted By Wedding Day Regrets
Anyone Else Haunted By Wedding Day Regrets – Have you been able to live a regret-free life in your marriage? We sure don’t. There are many things we have done or said to each other that we truly regret. We naturally fall in love with each other when we get married. We may not want to. Our intentions may be pure, but the reality is something else.
Most of our conflicts come to the fore when we live together every day as a couple. We talk about our personalities, attitudes, basic needs, communication styles, backgrounds, expectations, our individual ways of approaching everyday situations… and the list goes on. Go ahead.
Anyone Else Haunted By Wedding Day Regrets
Therefore, it is very good that we do something to our husband or wife that we regret. But it is our regret that we came together that matters most. Below are some testimonies of regret that music evangelists Steve and Annie Chapman have collected from couples they have researched on their travels around the world. From their book, What Couples Don’t Tell Each Other (only available on Kindle). Perhaps you can tell that some of these regrets were written by different couples (as we did).
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• If I could change anything, I would be the best person to live with. Deep down, I regret that I abused my wife and children.
• I regret not making “our relationship” more important than the children. Now that the kids are grown, I feel like my husband and I don’t really know each other.
• How I wish I could ask Jesus into my life sooner. I regret the lost years.
• We need to change the way we manage our finances. We are currently in debt, I don’t think we will have financial security.
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• I wish my husband and I could pray together. Whenever we hear someone preach about having a prayer time as a couple, we need to talk about it. But we never followed him. I feel like something is missing between us because of that.
• I am worried about buying a house that is too big for our income. I am worried about financial problems. The pressure of it all is what I always think about.
• It hurts me to remember how I lost my wife.
Sorry, we all have them. Honestly, we don’t believe you can live without them. And again, what matters most is what we each do. Steve and Annie talked a lot about the regrets we can accumulate in married life;
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If we allow regret to focus on the past, we set ourselves up for trouble. Someone once said that living a life focused on regrets is like driving a car while looking behind you. There is no doubt about it, you will fail. “
We can do anything! We fight in many ways. That’s because we don’t regret anything in a good way.
As Steve and Annie reviewed the long combined list of couples they had researched, they realized:
“All these regrets can be resolved using three means. • Avoid the avoidable. A smart solution to living without regrets
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Such wisdom. Steve and Annie didn’t say we would bury any sin or deal with them. Instead, they said they did the best they could under the circumstances. There are different ways to deal with them. But really, as we experience any regret, asking God for wisdom is really the best possible course of action. Only God can help us live our lives in a way where we live freely. It can bring salvation to even the worst situation. Also, He can help us not focus on it, which we shouldn’t.
Please know that we know (and God especially knows) that we cannot control every circumstance that happens to us. Sometimes our husband or wife does or says things they shouldn’t. Others sometimes cause us pain and regret of various kinds. Obviously, people get hurt. We live in a world this side of Heaven. Unfortunately, this is part of living here.
It’s those who hurt our spouse, ourselves, and others who can cause guilt. This can be done in so many ways that we can’t begin to list them all. And you know them.
What we encourage you to do is to live in such a way that you will not regret what you have done. Live in such a way that you don’t regret how you react to what your spouse and others do. When you feel you have been wronged, ask God to help you respond in His way. Don’t rush to respond. End it. Ask God for wisdom. And then listen to His direction.
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You can’t change what other people do that hurts you. (Sometimes you can, but most of the time you can’t.) However, you can change what you do. You can change your answer. You can also change the way you treat others. Read Philippians 2, about Christ’s humility and the challenge we are given. We are told to “do nothing out of selfish desire or pride, but in humility, to regard others as more important than ourselves.” We are also told to “receive this mind in you, which is yours in Christ Jesus…” Although he is equal with God the Father, he freed himself and took the form of a servant. He is our servant leader…leading us by his example to love one another and serve one another.
And then in Philippians 3 we are told, “… I am not the one to be arrested. But one thing I do, forgetting what is behind and reaching forward to what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to which God called me in the race to heaven in Christ Jesus.”
Looking at these passages of scriptures as they are presented, this means that we are not to dwell on the “things behind.” The apostle Paul (quoted here) did not forget that he was a Pharisee, or “the persecutor of the church,” etc. He didn’t let it beat him to “get along” with Jesus.
If you are struggling with past regrets or present sadness and confusion, cry out to God. He will guide you to do what He knows you should. Below is the link to the song that helped us. When I feel bad, I sing from my heart to God. The name of this song is Abba Nna. Listen, pray, ask and sit with God, seeking His face and His will;
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The psalmist said: “In my distress I called to the Lord. Oh my god, I screamed for help. He heard my voice from His palace. My cry reached his ears.’ Then King David said: “He came down and brought me out of all my trials. He saved me… That day… I was tired and they attacked. But the Lord supported me. He took me to safety. Because what I do pleases Him.
The same goes for you. God bless you. It’s just a prayer away. Ask God to help you sort out the mess. Look at the other sins committed against you. Look at your past sins and mistakes. Learn from them. What will you do from this day forward to join God in redeeming them? Don’t get caught in a sea of regret. Just hang in there long enough to learn what you need to. Then get into your boat with God and move these regrets to rest. And do what He directs. Try to do what you need to do to forgive others. You need the healing it can bring. It is for your own good that God told us to forgive.
Making peace is another step. Don’t get caught up in your imagination at first. Take a step. Get into God’s boat and go on this journey with Him.
We saw what John Ortberg wrote. “Imagine that someone does something that makes you angry. The situation is so confusing that you don’t know the right way to respond. Without even trying, your mind is full of negative thoughts. At the same time, you don’t know what to do. But God knows. And if you surrender to Him, He will show you how to respond with grace. The choices that are beautiful in your eyes – to avoid, to run away, to gossip, to criticize – you walk away from God. If your wrongdoing is overwhelming, it will take about 5 minutes before the vengeful thoughts start to return. You have to leave again. “But now you can recognize those illusions very quickly, and you can be a little bit
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