Wedding Ceremony Ideas For Officiant
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Jaimie Mackey was the Real Wedding Editor from 2013-2015. She has also worked as a luxury wedding planner and has designed over 100 high-end weddings and events in Colorado.
Wedding Ceremony Ideas For Officiant
Carolyn Hsu has extensive experience creating content for women’s lifestyle brands and has written for RealSelf, NewBeauty, and Glam.com.
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Kristi Kellogg founded Dazzling Digital Marketing Agency in 2017. He also works closely with Condé Nast’s digital marketing and SEO teams.
Having a close family member or friend officiate your wedding is a growing trend among couples. This is especially appealing to those who are not affiliated with a religious institution or prefer a secular ceremony. But the job also comes with a lot of responsibilities and complicated rules (not ones you can break).
The wedding ceremony leader is the wedding planner. Together with the couple, they prepare the materials for the ceremony and lead.
According to expert Natasha Anakotta, an officiant can spend “anywhere from six months to a full year leading up to the ceremony” preparing and conducting each wedding. “That leaves plenty of time to order powers of attorney and official documents, finalize the registration of the minister, have the ceremony with the couple, practice and figure out the logistics and details,” says Anakotta.
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Having a loved one or family friend’s wedding has many positives: it’s more intimate and personal than hiring a stranger, it’s cheaper than hiring someone, and it’s a very special way to include them in your big day. Read the complete ordination guide, from ordination to writing the actual ceremony.
Once the wedding date is set, you’ll want to meet with the couple to discuss their expectations for the ceremony and review any registration requirements. “If you need to register with a local authority before you get married, you need to make sure you have copies of the power of attorney and fill out all the necessary applications to complete the registration process. Plan ahead to allow extra time for paperwork or delays,” says Anakotta.
If you are not ordained yet, you must be. There are many programs online where you can go through a fairly simple application process. For example, Universal Life Church has blessed more than 20 million people of all faiths (including Lady Gaga, Conan O’Brien and Paul McCartney) with wedding blessing packages. You can also be ordained online through American Fellowship, Rose Ministries, and Universal Ministries.
“The cost of becoming a notary public or an ordained minister varies depending on where you live or who you choose to ordain with,” says Anakotta. “Becoming a notary generally requires application fees, bonds and background checks.
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Once you’ve been appointed, the next step in the process is to make sure all the paperwork and other legal boxes, if any, are ticked. In some areas the Secretary must file the power of attorney with the local court, while in others it is not required. For example, in California, registration is optional, while in New York, officers must not only register, but also appear in person at the city clerk’s office.
Sit down and walk through the ceremony with the couple because everyone wants something different. For religious ceremonies, the pattern and format makes sense, but for secular weddings, couples sometimes want to throw out the whole playbook. It’s important to talk to them beforehand to understand their vision for the ceremony.
When you come up with all the terms, write them down. Mark on your calendar when you need to receive documents, when you need to pay taxes and when you need to present the couple’s marriage certificate.
Being not only the host of the couple, but probably also a close friend or relative, you have a unique opportunity to organize a personal and impressive wedding ceremony. Now that you have a clear idea of what the couple is getting into, you can start writing the introduction and creating the text that includes the readings, exchanging vows, exchanging rings, and announcing the marriage. Just don’t let yourself be reminded that you’ve forgotten the legal requirements.
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When writing the ceremony, include sweet stories about the couple and heartfelt sentiments. Jokes can be nice too, but don’t take it too far. Also, feel free to reach out to the maids of honor and groomsmen, chances are they’ll have a story to tell about how they met or offer to share.
All eyes are on the couple and the judge standing with them. “Plan to discuss what you’re wearing so there are no surprises or objections. Even if the couple says, ‘dress however you want,’ you need to think about your outfit in light of the role you’re playing at the wedding. . . . You’re the master of ceremonies – not just a wedding guest.” ,” says Anakotta. While you don’t want to look like the wedding party, you also don’t want to look overdressed (or underdressed) compared to the other people in the ceremony photos. For all of these reasons, be sure to have an open conversation with your partner about the dress code.
Before coming to the ceremony rehearsal, take some time to practice reading the script. Make a note of where to pause for effect (or even consider reformatting the document with line breaks to encourage you to slow down) and practice pronouncing words that might stick to your tongue. It’s a great way to get used to what you’re saying so you’ll be less emotional on your wedding day – you’ll be more familiar with the lines so hopefully you won’t get too involved. Read the script in front of a mirror so you can make eye contact with the couple and the audience. Also, make sure the couple keeps their lines and vows beforehand.
Ask the couple to introduce you to their wedding planner or venue coordinator to discuss setup and equipment needs. It is important to discuss your daily needs, such as a microphone or desk. It’s also important to understand how the ceremony will take place – will you be walking down the aisle before the wedding party? Are cell phone use and photography expected to be disclosed? Reviewing this information early will ensure you have everything you need for your big day.
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Even if you write the ceremony, the couple needs to finalize the plan. While some couples prefer to be a bit of a surprise during the ceremony, it’s always a good idea to let them see your introduction (as it sets the tone) and any statements about the meaning of marriage and their relationship. If they don’t care about the surprise, let them read the whole story. Be flexible and accommodate any changes they ask for (after all, they are
Rehearsal is not the right time to perform the ceremony for the first time, especially if you are planning a wedding for the first time. These are just a few important details to consider, from knowing where to stand to the right pace. “Look at the logistics together,” says Anakotta. “This includes timing the ceremony and consulting with the DJs/musicians and asking if the couple would like the ceremony to be switched off – in which case you must ask guests to put away or switch off their phones at the start of the ceremony. “.
Now is the time to triple check that all the bases are covered. “If you’re doing other special unity ceremonies, you need to make sure you’re all set and ready to go,” says Anakotta. “For example, if a couple wants a one-candle ceremony, you need to have matches, a lighter, and a table ready. Also, be sure to ask who the rings will be (best man? ring bearer?) so there’s no confusion when rings are passed and exchanged during the ceremony.”
“Go over the marriage certificate together and make sure it is submitted to the state according to the instructions. This is usually a task that can be done by the person getting married, but if it is the spouses who are returning the marriage certificate, make sure they follow it,” says Anakotta. Remember that nothing is official until the marriage license is signed and approved, only then will you receive a marriage certificate.
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When the big day arrives, it’s time to act. Make sure you have your ceremony script and a few extra copies just in case. You may also want to bring copies of the couple’s vows and any readings that take place as a backup.
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